‘Big John’ rides into town. He ties his horse up outside the saloon, fires six rounds into the air, boots the batwing doors almost off their hinges, and goes in he goes.
“Beer”! he demands from the barman. He brings the glass to his mouth, and just before gulping it all down in one go, he glares at the barman, slams his fist down on the bar, and lets it be known to all in the saloon that ‘THIS BEER IS FREE.’ “Because if it’s not, the same thing’s gonna happen in this bar and this town as in Dodge in the summer of ’87”.
Drink after drink the same threat… “If it’s not FREE beer I’m drinking here, then it’s Dodge City all over again. Haaarrrrr’!
He eventually staggers back out to his horse, where a nervous patron picks up enough courage to ask, “So tell me, Big John… What really happened back in Dodge City in the summer of ’87?”
“I had to pay for it then.”
A blind man takes his Seeing Eye dog into a bar. He picks the dog up by the tail and swings him around his head in a circle. “What are you doing?” the bartender asks. “I’m just looking around,” he replies.
Corny Jokes
- What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
- What’s a potato’s favorite form of transportation? The gravy train
- What did the right eye say to the left eye? Honestly, between you and me something smells.
- Why does a Chicken Coop only have two doors? Because if it had four, it’d be a Chicken Sedan!
- Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course. A house doesn’t jump at all!
John invited his mother over for dinner one evening.
During the meal, she couldn’t help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was.
She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious.
She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening and began to wonder whether there was more between John and Judy than met the eye.
Realizing only too well what his mother was thinking, John said, “I can see your wheels turning, Mom, and I know what you’re thinking. Rest assured, Judy and I are strictly roommates.”
A few days later, Judy went to John and said, “You know the beautiful silver gravy ladle? Well, ever since your mother came to dinner I can’t seem to find it. You don’t think she would have taken it, do you?”
“I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure,” replied John.
John then sat down and wrote his mother the following letter:
“Dear Mom,
While I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘didn’t’ take a gravy ladle, the fact remains that ever since you were here for dinner, one has been missing.
Love, Your son.”
Several days later, John received a reply from his mother, which read:
“Dear John,
While I am not saying you ‘do’ sleep with Judy, and I’m not saying you ‘don’t’ sleep with her, the fact remains that she would have found the gravy ladle by now if she were sleeping in her own bed.
Love, Mom.”
Some Silly Jokes
Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open!
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs!
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel after a large chess tournament.
Rather than going to their rooms, the group stayed together in the lobby discussing the day’s events and recent victories.
After an hour, the hotel manager entered the lobby and asked them to disperse.
“But why?” they asked.
The manager answered,
“Because I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
I hope you liked these cartoons and jokes. If you have any jokes to contribute, please let me know. Thanks.
Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.