Technical Jokes Archives

Technical Jokes and Cartoons-68

Posted on September 18, 2020September 18, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

He says, “Just for fun, Mama, I’m going to bring over three women, and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them down on the couch, and they chat for a while

He then says, “Okay, Mama, guess which one am I going to marry?”

Mama says immediately, “The one on the right.”

“That’s amazing, Mama. You’re right. How did you know?”

Mama replies: “I don’t like her.”–

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 67

Posted on August 17, 2020August 24, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist; looked straight into his eyes, and said,

“I’d like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he explained, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband, that’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 66

Posted on July 16, 2020July 24, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”

“You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.

“That’s it! I can never remember that word.”

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog is thrilled! “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 65

Posted on June 17, 2020June 28, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

The Challenging Password

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 64

Posted on May 11, 2020June 28, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

Short Jokes

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a hug.

I called the doctor “My wife is going into labor! What should I do?

He asked, “Is this her first child?”

“No, this is her first husband.”

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 63

Posted on April 15, 2020May 1, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

Quote of the Century:

Dear God, can you please uninstall 2020 and download it again? It has a virus in it.

Another Bar Joke

A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”

He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”

The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man “When are you going to pay for these beers?”

The man answers, “Now the problems start!”

Dad Jokes

Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.

There would be mass confusion.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 62

Posted on March 25, 2020April 17, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

The Forgetful Actor

An actor had been out of work for 15 years because he always forgot his lines. Then one day he got a phone call from a director who wanted him for a big part in a play.

All he had to say was, “Hark! I hear the cannon roar! After much worry, the actor decided to take the role.

Opening night arrived, and while he waited in the wings, the actor muttered to himself “Hark! I hear the cannon roar! Hark! I hear the cannon roar! The time for the entrance finally came, and as the actor made his appearance, he heard a loud brooooom! He turned around and said, “what the hell was that?

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 61

Posted on February 21, 2020April 17, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

A farmer and a king died at the same time.

They found themselves standing at the Pearly Gates.

“Both of you were very good men,” says St. Peter, “but heaven is getting crowded and I can only allow one of you in. What can you do?”

The farmer planted a pear tree, and it grew huge delicious fruits.

“Wonderful,” said St. Peter. “What can you do, your majesty?”

The king immediately went to the nearest toilet and flushed it.

Ultimately, St. Peter decided to allow the king into heaven.

And the moral of the story is,

Cartoon Repair Anything-Bob — Repair Anything?

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 60

Posted on January 21, 2020April 17, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

A young driver became lost in a snowstorm. The teenager didn’t panic, however, because he remembered what his dad had once told him. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it.”

Sure enough, pretty soon, a snowplow came by, and he started to follow it. He followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked the teen what he was doing. And he explained that his dad had told him if he ever got stuck in a snowstorm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?”

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 59

Posted on December 13, 2019May 4, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. The man watched the game in astonishment for a while.

“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he said. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

“He’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded…

All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.