Why programmers like cooking: You peel the carrot, chop the carrot, and put the carrot in the stew. You don’t suddenly find that the peeler is several versions behind, and they dropped support for carrots.
A man is buying a banana, an apple, and two eggs. The female cashier says: “You must be single.”
The man answers: “Wow, how did you know that?”
Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”
My wife told me I’ve grown as a person
Her actual words were, “You’ve gotten fat,” but I know what she meant.
A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally, they got married and had a little sweet potato, which they called ‘Yam.’ Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed, get a bad name for herself like ‘Hot Potato,’ and end up with many Tater Tots.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t associate with those high-class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, ‘Frito Lay.’
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (Potato University ) so that she’d really be in the Chips when she graduated.
An art student got tired of working at a fast-food restaurant and decided to get a job working as a laborer at a construction site.
Being an over-confident arts student, he soon began to brag to the other workers about all sorts of things.
One day he decided to brag that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of the senior engineer on the site. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough.
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist; looked straight into his eyes, and said,
“I’d like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he explained, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband, that’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”