My wife called out to me from the other room: “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your chest… like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”
I said “No?!”
She said: “…How about now?”
Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 146
Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 145
A man appeared in one village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around their village, they went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10. When supply started to diminish, he again announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished again. The man then increased the offer rate to $25 but now the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catching it!
Technical Jokes and Cartoons -144
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
I’ll never forget my dear father’s last words. “A truck!”
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m OK.
I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
I invented a new word: plagiarism.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -144”Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 143
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.
I told him, ‘The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.’ He responded, ‘Is that Eastern or Pacific time?’
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, ‘Uh, Pacific.’
They Walk Among Us!
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 143”Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 142
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I could have all this by age 35:
– 6 figure passive income
– An empty calendar
– My forever home, paid off
– Vacation home in Maui
– 2 Teslas (S and X)
– Live-in nanny to help us with the kids
And yep I was right, I don’t have any of that.
Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 141
Sorry, friends, but I really need to vent!
I experienced the WORST customer service today at a local store. I don’t want to mention its name because I’m not sure how I’m going to proceed.
Yesterday I bought something from this store. I paid cash for it. I took it home and found out it didn’t work. Aargh.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 141”Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 140
A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house’s private study
Maid: “I’d like a raise.”
Mrs. Smith: “Why do you think you deserve a raise?
Maid: “Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you.”
Mrs. Smith: “Who told you that?”
Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 139
A family of mice was out walking and was suddenly surprised by a large cat. Father Mouse stood his ground, drew himself up to his full height, and shouted “BOW-WOW-WOW!!!” at the cat. The cat, alarmed, ran off.
The small mice were very impressed. “That was fantastic, Dad! How did you do that?”
“That, son, “explains Father Mouse, “demonstrates the value of learning a second language.”
Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 138
- Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
- What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
- Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
- Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 137
Two caterpillars are escaping a spider…
They climbed up a small branch and reached the edge, but realized they were now trapped.
“Hold on tight!” says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps, and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.
“That’s amazing!” says the second caterpillar. “How are you doing that?!”