You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
I’ll never forget my dear father’s last words. “A truck!”
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m OK.
I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
I invented a new word: plagiarism.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -144”
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.
I told him, ‘The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.’ He responded, ‘Is that Eastern or Pacific time?’
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, ‘Uh, Pacific.’
They Walk Among Us!
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 143”
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I could have all this by age 35:
– 6 figure passive income
– An empty calendar
– My forever home, paid off
– Vacation home in Maui
– 2 Teslas (S and X)
– Live-in nanny to help us with the kids
And yep I was right, I don’t have any of that.
Sorry, friends, but I really need to vent!
I experienced the WORST customer service today at a local store. I don’t want to mention its name because I’m not sure how I’m going to proceed.
Yesterday I bought something from this store. I paid cash for it. I took it home and found out it didn’t work. Aargh.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 141”
A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house’s private study
Maid: “I’d like a raise.”
Mrs. Smith: “Why do you think you deserve a raise?
Maid: “Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you.”
Mrs. Smith: “Who told you that?”
A family of mice was out walking and was suddenly surprised by a large cat. Father Mouse stood his ground, drew himself up to his full height, and shouted “BOW-WOW-WOW!!!” at the cat. The cat, alarmed, ran off.
The small mice were very impressed. “That was fantastic, Dad! How did you do that?”
“That, son, “explains Father Mouse, “demonstrates the value of learning a second language.”
Two caterpillars are escaping a spider…
They climbed up a small branch and reached the edge, but realized they were now trapped.
“Hold on tight!” says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps, and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.
“That’s amazing!” says the second caterpillar. “How are you doing that?!”
A man was lost in the desert. He was desperate for water. Finally, he found a small town, and in the town was a shop. He went into the shop and found a small man behind the counter. “Help me,” he said. “I would like some water.”
The storekeeper replied, “Sorry, I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.
The thirsty man shouted, “What, you lousy shopkeeper, I don’t want a tie, I need water.”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 136”
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 AM. Can you believe that? 2:30 AM! Luckily, I was still up playing my bagpipes.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 135”