Technical Jokes and Cartoons-27

cartoon-bluetooth-2How to translate responses from your boss:

I’ll look into it.     = I’ve already forgotten about it.

I tried my best.     = I did the bare minimum.

Happy to discuss further.     = Don’t ask me about this again.

No worries. = You really messed up this time.

Take care. = This is the last you’ll ever hear from me.



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What is an Explosion Proof Camera?

explosion proof IP cameraAn explosion proof camera is one that can be used in a hazardous potentially explosive environment.  This means that the camera system will not cause an explosion, rather than survive an explosion outside the enclosure.  The cameras used in these environments are designed to prevent ignition of the surrounding gases or dust.  They will either contain any explosion within the device, or prevent sparks exiting the device and triggering an explosion.  


Normally, we don’t worry about sparks.  For example, a household light switch may emit a small, harmless visible spark when switching. In an ordinary atmosphere, this arc is of no concern, but if a flammable vapor is present, the arc might cause an explosion. Explosive environments can be found in a number of places such as oil and gas tankers, chemical processing plants, hospital operating theaters, aircraft refuelling and hangers, coal mines or oil refineries, sewage treatment plants, grain handling, sugar refineries, and printing industry.  These environments, can contain flammable gases such as acetone, propane, methane, hydrogen, or coal dust.  

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Access Control Software

Cloud Versus On Site License for Access Control


cloud-access controlMany software applications are offering cloud based, subscription software rather than on site (or on-premises) license software.  For example, Microsoft and Adobe provide subscription plans. Recently Door Access Control software has become available in the cloud.  What exactly does this mean and what is better for you?  The article compares the two methods, and provides pros and cons that can help you decide what is best.


What is the difference between cloud and on premises software? On site software is the classic model of providing a perpetual license that allows you to run the software on your own computer.  Cloud software runs on a remote server and is provided under a monthly or yearly subscription plan.   For example, there is on premises door access software called Pure Access Manager The cloud application is called Pure Access cloud.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 26

Customer service jokes:


If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.


While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back 
in 20 minutes. The woman asked, 
“Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?”




When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

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Cloud Archiving Systems

Optical Jukebox Library in the Cloud


cloud-archiving-illustrationWe define archival information storage as a mechanism for writing data that can’t be modified or erased, storing information for a very long time (over 50 years), and providing easy retrieval.   Information archiving has evolved over the last century; from paper, to microfilm, and then to optical discs in jukebox libraries.  


Optical discs were introduced in the early 1980s.  The Write Once Read Many (WORM) 12-inch discs, introduced by Sony and other companies, provided archiving media that allowed organizations to archive their paper information to optical storage.  CD-ROM discs were introduced by Philips and Sony in 1985. A couple of years later Sony introduced DVD-discs and Magneto-Optical discs.  Jukeboxes or Libraries were designed to handle over 500 discs, creating a complete archiving storage system.  Blu-ray discs were introduced by Sony in 2003, and became the archiving media standard.

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Comparison of IP Intercoms

Pros and Cons of Different types of IP Intercoms


Intercom conceptThere are two types of intercoms.  The first type connects many intercoms to a number of central computer stations, while the second type connects one intercom to many smartphones or VoIP phones.  


In general, IP intercoms can be used to notify you that someone is at the door or provide communication between many locations (like schoolrooms) and a central office.  The intercoms are all wired to the local area network.     


These complete systems enhance your total security, assuring a safe environment in this uncertain world.  Here is a comparison of the different systems available.

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Surge Protectors for Network Attached Devices

How to Protect Your IP Security Systems from Power Transients

Surge protectors protect network attached devices from power transients.  Lightning is only one of the many power disturbances that can damage these IP devices.   There are a number of surge protectors available that can be used to minimize the damage from these power transients.


Anything that’s attached to your network, can be affected by power surges.  For example, your computer, door access system, IP camera, network switch, and router can be affected if there is a power spike.  Transients can occur not only on the power lines, but also on the data connections.  Surge protectors, from Ditek, are used to suppress the affect of these power spikes.


Here’s a summary of the surges and spikes that can occur, and how you can protect your equipment.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 25

cartoon-take-stairsI promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud.  These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district.  Spellings have been left intact.


Please excuse Roland from p.e. For a few days.

Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip..


John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.


Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side


Please excuse ray Friday from school.. He has very loose vowels.


Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.


My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

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How IP Intercoms Communicate with Smartphones

IP Intercoms for Mobile Applications

By Bob Mesnik


IP intercom-illustrationSmart IP intercom devices are making it easier to control access to your home, business, school, or any other organization.  They use your smartphone to see the person at the door, talk to them and allow entry (or not).


There are single-button intercoms and multi-tenant intercoms. Both versions have built in IP cameras. The IP intercom systems can use local intercom servers as well as remote cloud servers to provide the communication path between the intercom and the smartphone. These systems utilize various protocols such as VoIP SIP protocol, audio over IP, IP video, or other protocols to establish the connection between all the devices.


Here’s how the latest IP intercoms work.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-24

cartoon-chicken-missleThings that Started the Fight:

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started….


My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started…


One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started….


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