Technical Jokes and Cartoons-51

Cartoon Simplified Blogging-AtkinsonA guy is late for an important meeting, but he can’t find a place to park. In desperation, he begins to pray. “Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink vodka again!” A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right next to the entrance. “Never mind. Found one!”

Jokes from Old Comedians

 

Henry Youngman

 

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, “Cough!”

 

“Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?” The doctor says, “Limp!”

 

A man goes to a psychiatrist. “Nobody listens to me!” The doctor says, “Next!”

 

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IP Access Control System Comparison

What is the Best IP Door Access System for You?

What is the Best IP Door Access SystemThe first IP door access control system was introduced by Isonas around the year 2000. This was revolutionary at the time because each door reader included the intelligence that was typically provided by a control box. It took many years for this new technology to be accepted by the access control industry. Most security dealers were used to the centralized controller boxes with Wiegand readers at each door. Today IP door access systems are replacing the older centralized systems. This article provides a summary of the IP network attached door access control systems with the pros and cons of each type of system.

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IP Camera Systems – Professional Versus Consumer Systems

Comparison of Professional IP Camera Systems and Home Camera Systems, What’s the difference?

IP Camera System ComparisonIf you do a search for IP camera systems, you may see low-cost IP cameras advertised by Amazon, Costco, BestBuy, and other consumer sellers. You can find IP cameras starting at under $40, but are these IP cameras right for your business, school, hospital, government organization, or commercial organization?  The answer is no.  They are not designed for professional applications.  One of the most important things to understand is that commercial IP camera systems are “systems.” The professional IP camera system consists of an IP camera, video recording system, and infrastructure that includes the network, video management software, and display system. The consumer surveillance camera is primarily only a “camera.” The following article compares the difference between consumer type IP camera systems and commercial type IP camera systems.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-50

Cartoon-Harris-Limit of UniverseI used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now.

 

The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.

 

What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me.

 

Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!

 

My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.

 

Here is some advice from Phyllis Diller (a comedian from many years ago):

 

Whatever you may look like, try to marry a man your own age because as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

 

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Door Access Control – Frequently Asked Questions FAQs

Door Access Questions and Answers

Door access control questionsDoor access control systems provide security for business, school, government organizations. Access control has become more important as the need for improved safety has increased.

 

How does door access control work, what is the most secure access control system, and why do I need door access control management software are some of the questions and answers provided.

 

The following list of frequently asked questions is provided to help you learn more about the technology.

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IP Camera Systems – The Complete Reference Guide

Everything you wanted to know about IP camera systems

IP camera System ConceptSo you would like to purchase an IP camera system. You may have some idea about your goals. But, are those expectations realistic?

 

The more you know about the capability of the IP camera system, the better you can select the system that meets your expectations.

 

This technical summary provides the information you need to make an informed purchase of your IP camera system.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-49

Cartoon Harris- Black-HolesA man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him in the head with a frying pan.

 

‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied,

 

‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.

 

The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

 

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon regaining consciousness, the man asked why she had hit again.

 

Wife replied. ‘Your horse phoned’

 

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How Door Access Control Works

How the Door Reader, credential and access control software work

Door access controlDoor access control has become a very important part of our security structure. The door readers control the electric lock and determine who enters the building.

 

The access control readers use credentials which can be cards that fit in your wallet, or thick lanyard cards with holes that can be worn around your neck, or keyfobs that attach to your keyring. The latest door readers can also use your smartphone to open the door. The most secure credentials are your biometric attribute. Your face or fingerprint provides accurate identification of you rather than the credential you carry.

 

This article describes how door access control systems work.

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How to Increase Security in an Apartment Building

Apartment Building Technology for Security

Apartment Building Security Network attached security devices can provide walls of defense that increase safety in apartment buildings. Security can be provided by a number of different IP technologies such as door access control, IP camera systems, and IP intercoms and paging systems. Much like the walls of a castle, they provide increased safety and security.

 

Here is a summary of the lines of defense established by security technology:

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons 48

Cartoon-Dinosaur BonesA priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.

However, the boy is very small, and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.

Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”

To which the boy replies, “Now we run like Hell!”

 

Seasonal jokes

Q: What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
A: Snowflakes.

 

Q: Where does the snowman hide his money?
A: In the snow bank.

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A: A pineapple!

 

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