Technical Jokes and Cartoons-38

Cartoon-wireless-toasterInfinity  –  where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.


Some Puns:

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.


The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.


The meaning of opaque is unclear.


I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.


Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?


What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns.


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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-37

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.


Right now, I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

I think I’ve forgotten this before.


You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?


Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.


A chemistry joke:

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

A: 2 Na fish.

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Security Technology Review for 2017

Technology of 2017In 2017 there were a number of technology advancements. Faster processors provided higher performance IP cameras that enhanced the security provided by IP camera systems.


Other technology introduced included, long-range PTZ cameras, new biometric door access control readers, and more advanced network attached paging and intercom systems.


Over last year, technology for IP security systems continued to add new features that made it easier to use and improve our safety. This article reviews some of the key technology introductions.

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How to Protect IP Camera System from Cyber Attack

Protecting Your IP Camera from Hacking

IP camera protection conceptIP camera systems are supposed to protect us. That is their purpose. However, do we need to protect the camera system?  It turns out that in this brave new world of cyber threats, even our cameras are vulnerable.


There are some things you can do to protect your IP camera system from cyber-attack. Some of them seem obvious, yet many of us have not implemented them. Your IT staff can implement many of these things, but we do have a simple solution that can be installed by almost anyone. Here is a list of things you should do to protect your IP camera system.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-36

Cartoon-re-bootJack made his way through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, “Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy – Either way, you get your dog back!”


Here are some silly puns and jokes.

  • An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
  • Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
  • A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What? Because he’s cross-eyed?” “No, because he’s really heavy.”

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Biometric Door Control Misconceptions

Do You Believe Facial Recognition Readers Store Your Picture?

Biometic reader and flat-disc worldThere are many misconceptions about science and technology. One of the misconceptions is that biometric IP door readers store a picture of your fingerprint or face. Another one is that the Earth is a flat disc that rests on top of four elephants, on top of a turtle*.


For clarity, biometric door readers do not store a picture of your fingerprint or face, and the Earth is not flat. This article describes the technology behind biometric door readers.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-35

Some groaners:

Cartoon-EthicsBack in the 1800’s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California.

This, of course, is the origin of the expression; “He who has a Tates is lost!”


A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces:

“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”


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Long Range Camera Systems – Custom Vs. Off-the-Shelf

Review of Long-Range Day-Night IP Camera Systems

Very-long-range-custom-PTZDo you want to detect objects many miles away?  While custom-made cameras are best for very long-range applications, the latest off-the-shelf cameras provide some of the same capability for less money. These long-range PTZ cameras are very cost-effective, and allow you to detect a person almost 4-miles away. They have built-in IR-illumination or an additional thermal imaging camera that allows you to see an object over ½ mile away.  Prices range from less than $3,000 to about $18,000.


The basic difference between the off-the-shelf and custom cameras is the operational distance, especially at night.  Custom-made systems can view objects at night that are over 3 miles away. They include very long distance lenses, specialized laser illuminators, special thermal cameras, and very high-performance pan tilt mechanisms.  Custom cameras range in price from $20,000 to well over $150,000. Here is a summary of the systems available:

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How to Ensure Video Chain of Evidence

How Write-Once Storage is Used to Protect Video Evidence From Your Ip Surveillance System

Chain of evidence tagOne of the objectives of a video security system is to help law enforcement prosecute miscreants. It is important that this digital evidence follow the rules for chain of evidence so it will be acceptable by the courts. It must be treated just like fingerprints, confiscated weapons, and other physical objects that need to be authenticated in court. Ensuring the immutability of digital information can be challenging because a knowledgeable person can modify the evidence if it is not secured. How can we assure that the information has not been edited, deleted, or modified in any way?  This article reviews some of the methods for protecting the video chain of evidence.


Procedures Required

In all cases, defined methods of handling and storing the video data need to be followed. Once an incident occurs, the organization should follow a procedure that protects the video. The first step is to transfer the video evidence to secure storage that can’t be changed.  This can be DVR-R disc or a protected hard drive. Once the video is transferred, it can be provided to law enforcement.


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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-34

Cartoon-We got an engineerAn engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, “Ah, you’re an engineer. You’re in the wrong place.”


So, the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.


One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

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