Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 26

Customer service jokes:

 

If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.

 

While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back 
in 20 minutes. The woman asked, 
“Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?”

 

cartoon-mistake-shoot-me

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

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Cloud Archiving Systems

Optical Jukebox Library in the Cloud

By Dennis Gallen

 

cloud-archiving-illustrationWe define archival information storage as a mechanism for writing data that can’t be modified or erased, storing information for a very long time (over 50 years), and providing easy retrieval.   Information archiving has evolved over the last century; from paper, to microfilm, and then to optical discs in jukebox libraries.  

 

Optical discs were introduced in the early 1980s.  The Write Once Read Many (WORM) 12-inch discs, introduced by Sony and other companies, provided archiving media that allowed organizations to archive their paper information to optical storage.  CD-ROM discs were introduced by Philips and Sony in 1985. A couple of years later Sony introduced DVD-discs and Magneto-Optical discs.  Jukeboxes or Libraries were designed to handle over 500 discs, creating a complete archiving storage system.  Blu-ray discs were introduced by Sony in 2003, and became the archiving media standard.

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Comparison of IP Intercoms

Pros and Cons of Different types of IP Intercoms

By Bob Mesnik

 

Intercom conceptThere are a number of different IP intercoms available.  In general they are used to notify you that someone is at the door.  The intercom allows you to talk to the person at the door, and in some case see them.  It is also used to release the electric lock at the door.  The intercoms are wired to the local area network. Some models can also connect to your smartphone.    

 

In general, these IP intercoms help you control entry to your home or organization.  They also provide additional security to organizations that use door access control readers.  Authorized people can gain access using their credentials or even using biometrics (like a fingerprint reader), while visitors can be monitored for controlled entry. These complete systems enhance your total security, assuring a safe environment in this uncertain world.  Here is a comparison of the different systems available.

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Surge Protectors for Network Attached Devices

How to Protect Your IP Security Systems from Power Transients


network-lightning-protection
Surge protectors protect network attached devices from power transients.  Lightning is only one of the many power disturbances that can damage these IP devices.   There are a number of surge protectors available that can be used to minimize the damage from these power transients.

 

Anything that’s attached to your network, can be affected by power surges.  For example, your computer, door access system, IP camera, network switch, and router can be affected if there is a power spike.  Transients can occur not only on the power lines, but also on the data connections.  Surge protectors, from Ditek, are used to suppress the affect of these power spikes.

 

Here’s a summary of the surges and spikes that can occur, and how you can protect your equipment.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 25

cartoon-take-stairsI promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud.  These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district.  Spellings have been left intact.

 

Please excuse Roland from p.e. For a few days.

Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip..

 

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

 

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side

 

Please excuse ray Friday from school.. He has very loose vowels.

 

Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

 

My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

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How IP Intercoms Communicate with Smartphones

IP Intercoms for Mobile Applications

By Bob Mesnik

 

IP intercom-illustrationSmart IP intercom devices are making it easier to control access to your home, business, school, or any other organization.  They use your smartphone to see the person at the door, talk to them and allow entry (or not).

 

There are single-button intercoms and multi-tenant intercoms. Both versions have built in IP cameras. The IP intercom systems can use local intercom servers as well as remote cloud servers to provide the communication path between the intercom and the smartphone. These systems utilize various protocols such as VoIP SIP protocol, audio over IP, IP video, or other protocols to establish the connection between all the devices.

 

Here’s how the latest IP intercoms work.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-24

cartoon-chicken-missleThings that Started the Fight:

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started….

 

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started…

 

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started….

 

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IP Security Year in Review – 2016


Security Technology of 2016New Security Systems for 2016

By Bob Mesnik

 

2016 will probably be known as the year of the 4K IP cameras.  A number of manufacturers introduced these very high resolution cameras.  

 

Besides the increased camera resolution, new compression schemes were introduced that reduced bandwidth and storage requirements.  The latest network attached door readers are now controlled through the cloud.  The readers also include bluetooth connections that allow your smartphone to be used as the credential.  Video management software was integrated with other devices like door access control and digital cash registers, increasing total security.   Here’s a review of the technology introduced in 2016.

 

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How Fingerprint Readers Work

fingerprint-scanWhat is the Most Reliable Fingerprint Reader?

By Bob Mesnik

 

Fingerprint readers scan the features of a person’s finger and create a digital code that can be used as a unique digital template.  That’s the concept, but how do fingerprint readers actually work?

 

There are a number of different technologies used to scan the features of a fingerprint. The engineering challenge is to reliably read the ridges and valleys on the fingerprint so that it can be converted to a digital image.   

 

This article reviews the most popular technologies that use Optical, Ultrasonic and Capacitive sensors.  

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 23

Here are some things to think about:

Dilbert-passwords

There are so many different kinds of apples, that if you ate a new one every day, it would take over 20 years to try them all.

 

Our brain uses the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb.

 

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring… so I go back to being me.

 

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