Technical Jokes and Cartoons-40

Math cartoon A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings.

 

The physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.

 

The engineer pulls out a calculator, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds 10 times that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.

 

The mathematician runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, declares, “There IS a solution!”, and then burns to death.

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Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”

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How to Connect Audio to Networks and IP Cameras

Did you ever want to yell at someone you see on your video surveillance display? Maybe you want to tell them to get away from your parking lot or to yell at an intruder that the police are coming.  Perhaps you would like to talk to someone at your door? Then you could let the delivery man enter the back door at your office.

 

IP audio interface systems provide connections to speakers for paging or intercom devices. This article describes how audio can be added to your network or IP camera system.

 

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-39

Cartoon-Who said "Oops?"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Steven Wright

 

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

Steven Wright

 

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it’s going to be up all night.

Steven Wright

 

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.

Demetri Martin

 

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Demetri Martin

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Security Provided by Access Control Systems

What You Can Do to Improve Security

With all the gun-related tragedies at schools and other facilities, what can we do to increase our security? Securing your facility, school, sporting events, or concerts have become more complicated.

Access Control Systems

IP camera systems used to be enough to monitor the facility, but today we want to do a lot more.  We want to prevent unauthorized access to our buildings, prevent people from bringing in weapons, and we want to provide campus-wide paging systems that keep everyone informed of any emergency.  

 

Access control systems include more than just a door reader. They can include intercoms, cameras and even walk-through metal detectors. Each of these security systems adds another level of safety. The different components play unique roles in your overall security. This article reviews the various parts and when to use them. It provides guidance about what technology to use and an overview of how they work.

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How Walk-Through Metal Detectors Work

Walk-Through Metal DetectorAnyone who has traveled by airplane has probably gone through a walk-through metal detector. These security devices have also been used in schools, sporting events, government offices, and concerts. They are part of a total security system that includes cameras, door access control, and emergency paging systems.   

 

Metal detectors are effective and safe.  Just like IP cameras and door access control, they add to your safety and security.  Here’s how they work.

 

The Science Behind Metal Detectors

The metal detector utilizes the laws described by a Scottish physicist named James Clerk Maxwell (1831–1879). He discovered that magnetism and electricity are related. An example of the relationship is a coil of copper wire wrapped around a metal nail. When current is applied to the coil, the metal nail becomes magnetized.

 

When an electric pulse is sent through a coil of wire, it creates a magnetic field. When the field hits a metal object, it reflects back and can be detected using another coil of wire. The size and timing of the detected pulse is used to define the size and position of the object.  

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-38

Cartoon-wireless-toasterInfinity  –  where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.

 

Some Puns:

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.

 

The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

 

The meaning of opaque is unclear.

 

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

 

Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?

 

What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns.

 

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-37

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

 

Right now, I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

I think I’ve forgotten this before.

 

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

 

Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.

 

A chemistry joke:

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

A: 2 Na fish.

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Security Technology Review for 2017

Technology of 2017In 2017 there were a number of technology advancements. Faster processors provided higher performance IP cameras that enhanced the security provided by IP camera systems.

 

Other technology introduced included, long-range PTZ cameras, new biometric door access control readers, and more advanced network attached paging and intercom systems.

 

Over last year, technology for IP security systems continued to add new features that made it easier to use and improve our safety. This article reviews some of the key technology introductions.

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How to Protect IP Camera System from Cyber Attack

Protecting Your IP Camera from Hacking

IP camera protection conceptIP camera systems are supposed to protect us. That is their purpose. However, do we need to protect the camera system?  It turns out that in this brave new world of cyber threats, even our cameras are vulnerable.

 

There are some things you can do to protect your IP camera system from cyber-attack. Some of them seem obvious, yet many of us have not implemented them. Your IT staff can implement many of these things, but we do have a simple solution that can be installed by almost anyone. Here is a list of things you should do to protect your IP camera system.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-36

Cartoon-re-bootJack made his way through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, “Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy – Either way, you get your dog back!”

 

Here are some silly puns and jokes.

  • An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
  • Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
  • A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What? Because he’s cross-eyed?” “No, because he’s really heavy.”

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