These three guys die together in a tragic accident and they all go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter greets them and tells them, “We only have one rule here in heaven. Don’t step on the ducks.”
So, they enter heaven and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It’s almost impossible not to step on a duck there’s so many, and though they try their utmost to avoid standing on them, the first guy soon accidentally steps on one.
St. Peter then appears with the ugliest woman the guy had ever seen.
St. Peter chains the woman to the guy and says to him, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!”
The next day, the second guy also accidentally steps on a duck. Once again, St. Peter shows up and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains the woman to the second guy saying, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!”
What is the Best Access Control Management Software
Door access management software is an essential part of your access control system. It allows you to manage the door readers in your organization, and then enter and manage all the people who will use the doors.
Most of the access management software available provides simple door reader management. You can control who, when, and where people can enter. What else do you need? It depends on your requirements. Additional features will allow you to determine who is in the building, manage the system using your mobile device, lockdown the building in an emergency, and many other features. Here is a review of some of the things you may want to consider when you select your door access control system.
Comparison of The Topography of Access Control Systems
Access control systems used to be very complicated and difficult to wire. The early access systems used a central control box that connected to all the doors. The wiring was complex and expensive to install.
The latest access control solutions bring all the control functions to the door. This makes it easier to install, and simpler to expand. There are several systems that connect to the network but have different wiring schemes.
We compared the different access control systems and the benefits and disadvantages of each system configuration.
This article compares four types of door control systems. They all use access control management software that runs on your Windows computer. We provided the pros and cons of the different wiring topographies.
A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?”
The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”
“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer said.
“I did,” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach.”
Mobile phones are the new Credential
Have we reached the tipping point? Will our smartphones become our new door key? It all depends on the number of smartphones in the population. One survey indicates that 81% of the US population owns a smartphone. As the percentage increases, there will be enough smartphones to enable the use of mobile keys. It is quite likely that this will happen in the near future.
If everyone in your organization, apartment complex or school has a smartphone, you have reached the tipping point. You can use your smartphone as a mobile credential to open your doors.
Many smartphones use biometrics to unlock the phone. This security feature can make them more secure than carrying a card credential. This article describes how mobile credentials work in access control systems.
Automated Network Attached Paging Provides Emergency Announcements
Network attached paging systems are replacing the older analog paging systems. They are not only easier to install; they provide increased functionality. One of the most helpful features of this system is its ability to make automated announcements. You can push a button and make a pre-recorded page, or automatically notify everyone about a weather emergency received from the national weather service. The automation feature can even convert text messages to audio announcements.
Digital Acoustics was the first company to provide IP paging systems. Their PA over IP product was introduced in 2004 and included small audio amplifiers that were attached to the network. Today there are a number of companies that provide IP type paging systems, but Digital Acoustics continues to provide the most flexible and economic systems. Here’s how to use automated Paging.
A guy is late for an important meeting, but he can’t find a place to park. In desperation, he begins to pray. “Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink vodka again!” A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right next to the entrance. “Never mind. Found one!”
Jokes from Old Comedians
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, “Cough!”
“Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?” The doctor says, “Limp!”
A man goes to a psychiatrist. “Nobody listens to me!” The doctor says, “Next!”
What is the Best IP Door Access System for You?
The first IP door access control system was introduced by Isonas around the year 2000. This was revolutionary at the time because each door reader included the intelligence that was typically provided by a control box. It took many years for this new technology to be accepted by the access control industry. Most security dealers were used to the centralized controller boxes with Wiegand readers at each door. Today IP door access systems are replacing the older centralized systems. This article provides a summary of the IP network attached door access control systems with the pros and cons of each type of system.
Comparison of Professional IP Camera Systems and Home Camera Systems, What’s the difference?
If you do a search for IP camera systems, you may see low-cost IP cameras advertised by Amazon, Costco, BestBuy, and other consumer sellers. You can find IP cameras starting at under $40, but are these IP cameras right for your business, school, hospital, government organization, or commercial organization? The answer is no. They are not designed for professional applications. One of the most important things to understand is that commercial IP camera systems are “systems.” The professional IP camera system consists of an IP camera, video recording system, and infrastructure that includes the network, video management software, and display system. The consumer surveillance camera is primarily only a “camera.” The following article compares the difference between consumer type IP camera systems and commercial type IP camera systems.
I used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now.
The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me.
Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!
My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.
Here is some advice from Phyllis Diller (a comedian from many years ago):
Whatever you may look like, try to marry a man your own age because as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.