Technical Jokes and Cartoons 46

Comments from George Carlin

Cartoon-the Pi-Piper

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

 

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

 

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

 

If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.

 

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

 

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.

 

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

 

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How to Integrate Door Access and IP Camera Systems

The best way to integrate IP Video and IP door access systems

IP door access and camera integration

Door Access Control and IP Camera Systems provide security by themselves. When the two systems are integrated, they provide a higher level of security and safety.

 

There are some different ways to integrate cameras and door control systems. There are proprietary systems that only support specific hardware, and there are non-proprietary system solutions that can use more general hardware. This article provides the pros and cons of the different methods for integrating these security systems.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 45

Cartoon-math-cantaloupesIf olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

 

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

 

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

 

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

 

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

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How to Install IP Door Readers

Installing IP Door ReadersIP Door Access Control Systems are easy to install and provide excellent flexibility. There are RFID proximity IP readers and biometric door readers such as fingerprint or facial recognition readers, that connect to the network. In many cases, you can use PoE to power the reader and the electric lock.

 

An IP door access control reader is different from the older Wiegand door readers. Instead of connecting to a control panel, the door reader attaches to the network. All the intelligence is inside the reader. It maintains the rules and holds the database of users who can access the door. This means that even if the network is down, the reader will still operate (if it has power). The door access software is used to manage and edit the information that’s stored in the readers. It only communicates with the readers when there is a change in the information.

 

This article takes the mystery out of network attached door access control systems and describes how to install them.

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IP Paging Systems for Schools

How to select the right speakers and determine the number required

IP paging system conceptIP paging speaker placement and sound volume settings are key to providing clear sound. Whether there is a general announcement or an emergency message, it’s important that the instructions can be heard and understood by everyone.

 

Network attached IP speakers are easy to install, but they must be placed in the right location, and the sound volume must be correct so that all locations are covered with clear sound.

 

This article provides guidelines for selecting the right IP paging speakers for your school. The article also helps you determine the number of speakers you need, and the amplification required.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 44

cartoon-fossils-deviceSave early, save often. Used to refer to how to handle your money. Now it refers to anyone who uses a computer.

 

Any science or technology which is sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic. – Arthur C. Clarke

 

Any technology that is distinguishable from magic is not sufficiently advanced. – Gregory Benford

 

Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry. – Anonymous

 

Some days I amaze myself.

Other days I look for my phone while I’m holding it.

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Thermal versus Optical IP Cameras

Applications for Thermal and Optical IP Camera Systems

Thermal and optical IP cameras use different technologies to capture video. Each type of camera system provides a unique role in an IP video surveillance system. Systems that combine thermal and optical cameras provide a synergistic solution for long-range surveillance.

Long-range PTZ camera system

Thermal cameras are better for night viewing since they don’t require any light. The optical IP cameras require daylight or illumination at night and are best for identifying details such as a person’s face or a license plate number. This article describes when to use these camera systems.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 43

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She held up the box and said, “I bet it’s some flowers!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held up the box and said, “I bet it’s some chocolates!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held up the box and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

“Is it wine?” she asked.

“No,” the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

“Is it champagne?” she asked.

“No,” the boy answered.

“What is it?” she said.

“A puppy!”

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How Face Recognition Works in a Crowd

Facial Recognition in a Crowd

face recognition systemsThere are different methods used for matching facial biometrics. The simplest method measures various features of a person’s face, such as the distance between the eyes, or the position of the mouth to the nose.  These geometric measurements or vectors are then coded and stored in a database for later comparison. This type of system is usually used in biometric door access control readers

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