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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-79

Cookwitch Sandwich

Shel Silverstein

I heard that Katrina
The Cook was a witch,
But me, I’m such
A stupid kid,
I yelled, “Hey! Kariba,
Make me a sandwich,”
and ZAP —
She did!


Jack: My uncle swallowed a frog.

Jill: Goodness, did it make him sick?

Jack: Sick! He’s liable to croak any minute!


What do you call a small bread that is moving rhythmically to music?

Abundance

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Scalable Door Access Control

One Door at a Time Access Control

Scalable Access Control
Scalable Access Control

One of the nice things about technology is that devices generally do more things and become easier to use as time goes by.  This has certainly been true with access control systems. The first door access control systems required a skilled technician to install the system. There was quite a lot of complex wiring from each door reader to the main controller box. The new IP Reader-Controllers connect to the network and are intelligent. One of the most significant advantages is the ability to install one door at a time.

This article reviews the incremental capability of these new IP access control systems.

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Camera, Sound, Action on the Network

Digital Audio and Your Security System

Integrating IP Video and Audio
Integrating IP Video and Audio

Just like old-time movies had no sound, the first surveillance cameras were just video.  Adding sound to the movies provided that additional feeling of reality to their entertainment.  Adding sound to security systems increased our safety.  The sound provided better clues about what we were seeing. For example, if we saw two people together, we would react differently if we heard laughing or yelling. 

Audio technology provides a flexible enhancement to security. From speakers attached to cameras to paging systems and apartment intercoms, this article reviews the integration of audio into a security system.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-78

The Priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night

Whispering firmly, the Priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of him! “The dying man said nothing.

The Priest repeated his order. Still, the man said nothing. The Priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil? “The dying man said, “Until I know for sure where I’m heading, I don’t think I ought to aggravate anybody.”

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IP Camera System Site Survey

How to Install Your IP Camera System for Best Surveillance Coverage

Surveillance IP Camera
Surveillance IP Camera

You only need one blind spot to miss the critical video of someone taking your merchandise, a person falling, someone stealing a car or the wrong person in the computer room. Therefore, selecting the right IP cameras and their location is an essential part of providing a secure and safe environment.

This article helps you understand how to get the best coverage for your IP camera system. It describes how to develop your site survey, select the correct cameras, resolution, lens, and location.

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Access Control Locks FAQ – Fail-Secure or Fail-Safe

Door Access Control and How to Configure the Electric Lock

Access Control Locks
Access Control Locks

Configuring the electric lock is an essential part of your access control system installation. The electric lock can be configured for Fail-safe or Fail-secure. What is better? The answer is not that simple. Here are some of the frequently asked questions that we received. The answers will help you decide how to configure your door access control system.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-77

Some pick-up lines from engineers

  1. Let’s convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
  2. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
  3. Wanna come back to my room? …and see my new gaming laptop? It’s got a 10th Generation Intel® Core™ i9-10980HK computer.
  4. Why don’t we measure the coefficient of static friction between you and me?
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IP Physical Security Systems

Integration of Access Control, IP Cameras, and IP Paging

IP Physical Security Systems
IP Physical Security Systems

IP security devices are network-attached appliances such as IP cameras, IP door access control, IP intercoms, and paging. These security devices communicate using IP protocols and share the network with computers, printers, scanners, NVRs, and other network-attached devices.

When we provide interaction or cooperation between two or more devices or agents, we produce a combined effect more significant than the sum of their parts. That’s synergy. And that’s what we get when we integrate IP camera systems, IP door access control systems, and paging and intercom systems. We provide increased security. This article discusses how these three IP security systems work together.

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Benefits of a Door Access Control System

Why Purchase an IP Access Control System?

Access Control Decisions
Access Control Decisions

When we need to make an access control purchasing decision, we are motivated by many different factors. Maybe we recognize that there are increasing threats to the organization, or maybe it’s because something already happened.  Maybe there was an intruder, or an unauthorized person entered the computer room, or maybe some inventory was stolen from the warehouse.

This article describes some of the benefits of IP access control systems and why it is a justifiable investment.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-76

An old priest died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven

Next to him was a young Uber driver who died seconds ago from his reckless driving.

The priest was called first, and St Peter said, “For your lifelong career working for the church, we will give you a small studio where you can stay for the rest of eternity.”

Then St Peter turned to the Uber driver and said, “For your 2 years as an Uber driver, we will give you a giant mansion by the lake and a Ferrari in a heated garage.”

Cartoon-Death-Apartment

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