A blind rabbit and a blind snake bump into each other. “What are you?” asked one. “I don’t know because I am blind,” said the other.
So, the snake said, “I will feel you and describe you, and then we will switch. You have strong back legs, soft fur, a fluffy tail, and big ears.”
“Oh, I must be a rabbit. My turn. You are a cold-blooded, slimy low life with a forked tongue.”
And the snake said, “Oh my God, I am a lawyer!”
A guy really hated his wife’s tomcat. One day, when his wife left for work, he decided he was finally getting rid of it.
He put the cat in a bag, drove to the nearby forest, and released it. When he returned home, the cat was sitting in front of the door, waiting to be let in.
The guy was really annoyed but decided to wait a few more days. When his wife left for work again, he put the cat in a bag, drove farther away from home this time, and released it. He came home… and shortly after him, the cat came home too and started meowing in front of the door to be let in.
At that time, the dude was already furious, but he waited a few more days. When his wife left for work again, once more he put the cat in a bag, and this time he drove 10 km straight, 20 km to the left, 15 km to the right, then straight, then right, then left, then right, left, straight, left, right… After more than 200 km, he stopped and released the cat.
In the evening, the home phone rang. The wife was already back from work, so she picked it up. On the other side was her husband.
“Oh, honey, it’s you?!” she exclaimed in dismay. “Where are you??”
The man was absolutely fuming and could barely speak. “Is the cat at home?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“Yes,” his wife replied. “He just came home five minutes ago. Why?”
“Can you tell the cat to pick me up? I got lost!!”
When Bill Gates dies and goes to Heaven, St. Peter escorts him to a nice studio apartment in a nice part of town. Out walking one day, he meets a distinguished-looking gentleman with a magnificent white beard. They get along so well that the gentleman suggests they both go to his place for tea.
Bill is awestruck. The place is a palace with beautiful, manicured gardens and elegant sculptures. The tea comes in perfectly translucent bone china cups and tastes Heavenly.
“Who are you to rate such a place?” Bill asks tentatively.
“I am Captain Edward Smith.” his host replies.
“Of the RMS Titanic?”
“Yes, the very same.”
Bill storms off to see Saint Peter. “How come the captain of a sunken ship gets all that while I, the inventor of the Windows Operating System gets a crummy little house?” he asks.
Saint Peter replies, “The Titanic only crashed once.”
I hope you enjoyed these jokes and cartoons. If you have any good jokes, please send them to me. Thanks.
No copyright infringement is intended for these jokes and cartoons. The content is only for your enjoyment.
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