Two caterpillars are escaping a spider…
They climbed up a small branch and reached the edge, but realized they were now trapped.
“Hold on tight!” says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps, and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.
“That’s amazing!” says the second caterpillar. “How are you doing that?!”
The first caterpillar scoffs. “Am I the only one in the whole damn forest who knows how to drive a stick?”
Some Neologisms
- Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
- Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
- Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.
- Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.
- Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
- Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.
- Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
- Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
A man really hated his wife’s cat. One day, he put the cat in his car, took it to the end of the block, and let it go. When he got home, he saw that the cat had beaten him home.
Undeterred, he put the cat in the car, drove a few miles across the city, and tossed it out again. Upon returning home, he was astonished to see that the cat had beaten him home again.
Determined at this point, the man took the cat and drove him across the city, over the river, through the woods, and clear across three counties before putting the cat outside and driving off.
Several hours later, the man’s wife was at home when the phone rang. She picked up, and it was her husband.
“Is the cat there?” He asked.
“Yes…” she replied.
“Well, put him on the phone, I’m lost.”
Laws of Computer Programming
- Any given program costs more and takes longer.
- If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
- If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
- Any program will expand to fill available memory.
- Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it.
- Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug.
- Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
Some Medical Jokes
Q: What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.
Q: What did the banana say to the nurse?
A: I’m here to see the doctor. I am not peeling well.
Q: What did the nurse say when the doctor decided to stay home?
A: “Suture self!”
Q: When is the worst time to have a heart attack around a nurse?
A: During a game of charades!
Q: Why was the nurse angry?
A: She ran out of patients.
Q: What did the patient say when the nurse informed him that he had acute appendix?
A: “Compared to whom?”
Helper or Master
A Poem from AI
Technology lives with me now,
quiet as a breath in the next room.
I speak, and the lights come on,
as if the house understands my mood.
“Alexa,” I say,
and music arrives—
old songs, familiar notes,
filling the space between moments.
It explains how things work
when the world feels complicated,
offers answers without impatience,
guides me through small puzzles of the day.
It even helps me write a poem—
shapes a line, suggests a word.
Some say that means the poem has no heart.
But the heart is still mine.
The memories are mine.
The wonder, the doubt, the questions—
all human.
Still, I pause and wonder:
Will AI remain my helper,
a tool I reach for,
or will it slowly become my master,
deciding more than I ask,
knowing more than I choose to know?
For now, it listens.
For now, it serves.
And I remind myself—
the voice gives commands,
the mind gives meaning,
and the heart must always stay human.
I hope you enjoyed these jokes and cartoons. If you have any good jokes, please send them to me. Thanks.
No copyright infringement is intended for these jokes and cartoons. The content is intended solely for your enjoyment.