Here are some questions that I have:
When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Why call it “take” a dump, when you leave something behind?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do we call it a hot water heater if the water is already hot?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
What is the scientific name for anti-vaxxers during a pandemic?
The control group.
Is there another word for thesaurus?
Is the color orange called that because it’s the color of the fruit of the same name, or was the fruit called orange because that’s its color? Which came first, the color or the fruit?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Now that I have gotten older, I noticed that:
- Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
- Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
- Lately, I’ve noticed people my age are so much older than me. “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering why I’m there.
- When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini vacation.
- Some days I have no idea what I’m doing out of bed.
Here are some more questions
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?
What do they pack Styrofoam in?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock “go off” when it begins ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?
Why call it a building if it’s already been built?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why is it called a “near miss” when you don’t hit something?
When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?
Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when they had an idea?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why does the word monosyllabic contain five syllables?
A Poem by Emily Dickinson
‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –
And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –
I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.
I hope you liked these cartoons and jokes. If you have any anecdotes to contribute, please let me know. Thanks.
Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.