Some thoughts:
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
Foreign Idiomatic Phrases
A number of years ago, I visited Sony in Japan with another engineer. We were both nervous about our first encounter with the Japanese marketing and engineering staff in Atsugi, Japan. When my engineering associate became nervous he used many idiomatic expressions. The Japanese spoke English, but were confused by the idioms used. They were confused by, “back to the drawing board”, or ”the ball is in your court”, or ”barking up the wrong tree”. I spent my time translating idioms into clear English.
We would have the same problem with foreign language idioms. Here are some phrases from other countries.
Spanish:
Eating a cable
To be in financial difficulty
If you’re down to your last savings, perhaps you’ll only have your cables left to eat.
Russian:
To ride as a hare
To travel without a ticket.
If you’re traveling without a ticket, you’ll be shaking like a hare when the ticket inspector comes to you.
Japanese:
To have a wide face
To have lots of friends and to be well liked.
These days this could be interpreted to mean you have a wide friendship circle on social media
Deutsch:
To live like a maggot in bacon
To live a life of luxury
If a maggot found some bacon, they really are living high.
Armenian:
Stop ironing my head!
Stop annoying me!
Traditionally used to stop nagging wives, but said now to anyone who’s being irritating.
French:
To have long teeth
To be ambitious
By this logic, you can argue that vampires are certainly ambitious
Polish:
Not my circus, not my monkey
Not my problem
This is certainly a more colorful way to wash your hands of a problem.
Maltese:
My eye went with me
I fell asleep
After all, your eyes can’t see anything if you’ve fallen asleep
Dutch:
I’m sweating carrots!
Literary means “I’m sweating very heavily”
This is a slightly nicer way of saying “I’m sweating like a pig.”
Ukrainian:
Work is not a wolf; it won’t run off into the woods
You can always return to the work later.
This is a good phrase to use when you panic and can’t stop working on that assignment.
Swedish:
It fell between chairs
When you want to say, Yeah, I know, I was supposed to do it, but I forgot
This happens when two people were meant to do something, but both forgot all about it. I guess it’s not the same as when “something falls through the crack”.
Ukrainian:
My cottage is at the edge
Means: I’m only slightly involved”.
You’re only at the periphery of the problem so you’re not that worried about it.
These expressions were contributed by Dave Grossman
Hope these jokes and cartoons brightened your day. Please contribute any good jokes you have heard.