Tag: cartoons

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 60

A young driver became lost in a snowstorm. The teenager didn’t panic, however, because he remembered what his dad had once told him. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it.”

Sure enough, pretty soon, a snowplow came by, and he started to follow it. He followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked the teen what he was doing. And he explained that his dad had told him if he ever got stuck in a snowstorm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?”

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 59

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. The man watched the game in astonishment for a while.

“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he said. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

“He’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded…

All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

Cartoon Whyatt Vasectomy

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-49

Cartoon Harris- Black-Holes

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him in the head with a frying pan.

‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied,

‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.

The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon regaining consciousness, the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied. ‘Your horse phoned’

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons 46

Comments from George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 45


If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-40


A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings.

The physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.

The engineer pulls out a calculator, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds 10 times that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.

The mathematician runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, declares, “There IS a solution!”, and then burns to death.


Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-38


Infinity  –  where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.

Some Puns:

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.

The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

The meaning of opaque is unclear.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?

What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-33


There was once a man named Odd. People made fun of him because of his name so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.

Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, “That’s odd.”

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

(A chemistry joke) I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..

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Jokes and Cartoons – 30


Bill walks into his boss’s office one day and says, “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I’ve got three companies after me, and I’d like to  respectfully ask for a raise.”

After a few minutes of haggling. the boss finally agrees to give him a 5% raise, and Bill happily gets up to leave.

“By the way”, asks the boss as Bill is leaving his office, “which three companies are after you?”

Bill replies, “The electric company, water company, and phone company.”

Two factory workers are talking.

The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.” The man replies, “And how would you do that?”

The woman says, “Just wait and see.”

She then hangs upside down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”

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