Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 116

Cartoon Echo Valley

The Workplace, A Teaching Moment

A crow was sitting in a tree whistling a tune… A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. Suddenly, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Performance Reviews

These quotes were taken from actual performance evaluations.

“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”

“His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.”

“I would not allow this employee to breed.”

“This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t be.”

“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”

“When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.”

“He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”

“This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”

“He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”

Cartoon Wine Selection

Some Interesting Quotes

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not “Eureka!” (“I found it!”) but rather “hmm…. that’s funny…” ‘ 
— Isaac Asimov

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
— Albert Einstein

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
—  Isaac Asimov

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
— Jim Carrey

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
— Luis Bunuel

Cartoon Pilates Gym

Some Ice cream Puns

  • Ice cream makers learn their trade in sundae school. 
  • A geologist’s favorite ice cream is rock erode.
  • An ice cream’s favorite game show is “Who Wants to Be a Chill-ionaire?”
  • If you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter you get pi a la mode.
  • Ice cream investigators always get the inside scoop. 
  • When the princess grew up she became the Dairy Queen.

Some Jokes by Comedians

Tim Vine Can Find a Compliment Anywhere
“Somebody complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.”

Demetri Martin’s Easy Tip for a More Restful Sleep
“I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now I don’t have to hold things when I sleep.”

Steven Wright Flips an Old Adage on Its Head
“If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?”

Garrison Keillor on the Sad Irony of a Nice Funeral
“They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.”

Frank Carson Must Have Gotten an Early Neuralink Brainchip
“I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn’t work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.”

Some Dad Jokes

“I stopped at a little roadside shack that said ‘Lobster tails $5.’ I gave the guy five bucks and he said ‘once upon a time in a far-off land, there was a lobster…'”

“A woman in labor yells, ‘Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Don’t! Can’t!” The doctor tells her husband, ‘Don’t worry, those are just contractions.'”

“I told my wife I was building a model of Mount Everest. She asked, ‘Is it to scale?’ I replied, ‘No, it’s to look at.'”

I hope you enjoyed these jokes and cartoons. If you have any good jokes, please send them to me.  Thanks.

Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.