A butterfly gets pulled over by the cops for speeding. He hands the cop his driver’s license with a photo of a caterpillar on it. “Sorry, it’s an old picture.”
It is not clear where the concept of Murphy’s Law originated. Some say that the original Murphy’s Law was “If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.”
The story goes that in 1947, Murphy was involved in a rocket-sled experiment in which all 16 accelerator instruments were installed in the wrong way, resulting in Murphy’s observation. Murphy’s Law is sometimes expressed as “Anything that can go wrong, will — at the worst possible moment.”
Here are some examples of Murphy’s Laws relating to Computer hardware:
- First Law of Selective Gravitation: When an object is dropped, it will fall in such a way as to cause the greatest possible damage to itself and/or other objects on which it lands.
- Second Law of Selective Gravitation: The tendency for an object to be dropped is directly proportional to its value.
- Law of Expectation: Consumer expectations always outpace advances in hardware technology.
- Law of the Titanic: If a device cannot malfunction, it will.
List of IT-related Sniglets – Words that should be in the dictionary (but aren’t)
acronymnym – a redundancy created by following an acronym with the final word of that acronym, like DNS server.
alpha geek – the most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or workgroup.
analog-retentive – those people who obstinately cling to outmoded technology.
animousity – vigorously clicking your pointer device because a page is loading too slowly. See also: screen spasm – pages that try to load simultaneously on your computer screen as a direct result of your animousity.
backronym – an IT term whose letters once had no meaning, but have since come to stand for something-or-other.
beer Googles – searches on the Internet made while intoxicated, sometimes resulting in information looking more attractive or credible than it would otherwise.
blamestorming – sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
blogorrhea– compulsive, excessive, and/or meaningless ranting/raving by an individual on a blog — essentially, blog-based logorrhea, meaning a tendency to talk on and on.
blurker – someone who reads a blog or blogs regularly but never comments or contributes to the discussion.
cellphonic appraisal – the activity that occurs when a ringing cell phone causes everyone in the room to check and see if it’s theirs.
crapplet – a poorly written or totally useless Java applet.
cinderellaware – software (demo or shareware) which becomes useless after a trial period unless the user pays for and registers it.
cube farm – an office filled with cubicles.
cylences – long gaps in a phone conversation that occur because one person is also reading e-mail, IMing or cybershopping.
cellopain – the person who talks loudly and obliviously on a cellphone in a crowd.
doh-jo – the opposite of mojo.
dopeler effect – the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
egosurf – to search for yourself on Google or another search engine
e-mnesia — the condition of having sent or received an e-mail and having no recollection of it whatsoever.
execuglide – to maneuver oneself around the room while seated in a wheeled office chair.
famspam – unsolicited email sent by family members.
fonesia – the affliction that strikes when you dial a phone number and forget whom you were calling just as they answer.
Mahogany Row – the business side, the boardroom.
Macrimination – the automatic assumption that whatever is wrong is caused by the Mac on the network.
negabytes per second (NBps) – a measure of data transfer that seems so slow it can only be assumed to be flowing backward.
ohnosecond – that very short moment in time during which you realize that you have pressed the wrong key and deleted hours, days, or weeks of work.
oxoxomoron – a person who includes symbolic “hugs and kisses” at the end of their e-mail.
percussive maintenance – the fine art of whacking the crap of an electronic device to get it to work again.
phenomenot – the Latest, Greatest, wizz-bang whatever that’s not what it’s proclaimed to be.
phenomenut – the guy who runs right out and buys phenomenots.
prairiedogged – the feeling of helplessness that overtakes you when co-workers in neighboring cubicles constantly pop their heads up to ask you stupid questions.
screenager – an intern in the IT department.
regurgimailer – someone who forwards whatever that lands in his inbox to everyone he knows.
schoogle – to Google the names of old classmates.
spammified – when an email ends up in the spam folder by mistake.
specifiction: – 1) a specification founded on invalid or erroneous assumptions. 2) a specification that, as written, is impossible to implement.
treeware – documents made out of paper, as opposed to electronic documents.
WAPathy – lack of interest in wireless technology.
zen mail – an e-mail message that arrives without text in the message body.
A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
I hope you enjoyed these jokes and cartoons. If you have any good jokes, please send them to me. Thanks.
Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.