Technical Jokes and Cartoons Jokes-90

A man is walking home around midnight

“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So, he invited the older man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You are the eighth.”

Two fleas were walking out of a bar when they discovered it was raining.

One turned to the other and asked – Shall we walk or take a dog?

Cartoon Fitbit Walk Lost

A guy is walking down the sidewalk one day…

He happens to be strolling past a construction site with a huge wooden fence around the courtyard. Behind the fence, he can hear a crowd of people chanting “14,14,14!” which gets his curiosity going. Up ahead of him, he can see a knothole in the fence, so he heads over to it, leans down, and peeks through the hole to see what all the commotion is about.

A finger comes through the hole and pokes him right in the eye and the guy on the other side cheers, to which the group responds by chanting “15,15,15!”.

The Gender Controversy

We hear about gender-neutral pronouns, but even many non-living objects could be male or female. For example:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male because they hold everything in…but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female because once turned off….it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed…but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object… Because to get them to go anywhere….you have to light a fire under their ass.

SPONGES: These are female…because they are soft……squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female…because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male… Because they always use the same old lines for picking up people..

                EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because….over time…all the weight shifts to the bottom.

                HAMMERS: Male….. Because in the last 5000 years…..they’ve hardly changed at all…and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male…. but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure. He’d be lost without it…and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push…he just keeps trying


Some Science Puns

Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays?
Answer: They’re allowed to wear genes to work.

Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
Answer: There was no chemistry.

What do you call a fish made up of two sodium atoms?
Answer: Two Na.

If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?
Answer: H2O cubed.

What do you call an educated tube?
Answer: A graduated cylinder.

How does the moon cut his hair?
Answer: Eclipse it.

Why did the germ cross the microscope?
Answer: To get to the other slide.

A Marvel Universe Joke

Captain America loses his voice due to a scheme concocted by Doctor Doom.

He tries everything. Dr. Strange can’t help because he doesn’t detect any magic causing the problem. Reed Richards can’t help because the problem isn’t explainable with science. After a barrage of failed attempts, even Tony Stark throws in the towel.

Tony finally says, “Cap, I know you’re desperate. There’s one more person we can try, but you’re not gonna like it…”

Cap mimes that he doesn’t care. So Tony takes him deep underground, below SHIELD HQ, where they keep the nastiest and most dangerous villains.

There, in one of those big airy cubes, stands Captain America’s nemesis: THE RED SKULL!

Tony explains the situation to the HYDRA commander, who then smiles and says in a thick German accent:

“Vee haff vays off making you talk!”

cartoon Elevator

The Earth is 70% uncarbonated water…

So it’s technically flat.

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. The gynecologist prepared for his test for weeks. He completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result. I wonder if there is an error in the grade.”

The Instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, worth 50% of the total mark. You perfectly put the engine back together, which is also worth 50% of the mark.”

After a pause, the Instructor added, “| gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career”.

The Gift to Sing

James Weldon Johnson – 1871-1938

Sometimes the mist overhangs my path,
And blackening clouds about me cling;
But, oh, I have a magic way
To turn the gloom to cheerful day—
      I softly sing.

And if the way grows darker still,
Shadowed by Sorrow’s somber wing,
With glad defiance in my throat,
I pierce the darkness with a note,
       And sing, and sing.

I brood not over the broken past,
Nor dread whatever time may bring;
No nights are dark, no days are long,
While in my heart there swells a song,
       And I can sing.

Girl Singing

I hope you liked these cartoons and jokes.  If you have any anecdotes to contribute, please let me know.  Thanks.

Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.