Technical Jokes and Cartoons 3A

We included the latest technical topics as well as some classic jokes from Henny Youngman, a comedian who was popular years ago.  He was known for his “one-liners”.  for example,

I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.
Henny Youngman

 And, some more from Henny Youngman,

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.
Henny Youngman

Famous people have given us some great one-liners as well:

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Margaret Mead

Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.
Steven Wright

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
Dave Barry

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
Dr. Seuss

OK, so many of these jokes are not really technical, but they are silly.  So for those kids among us let’s end with another Dr. Seuss:

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.
Dr. Seuss

If you have any jokes (clean ones) to contribute, please send them to me.  Thanks.

Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.