Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 43

“Is it champagne?” she asked.

“No,” the boy answered.

“What is it?” she said.

“A puppy!”

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I’m in shape… Unfortunately, it’s the shape of a potato.

I failed my driver’s test today. The instructor asked me “What do you do at a red light?” I said, “I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook.”

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, many people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn’t them.

Back in the 1800’s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California.

This, of course, is the origin of the expression; “He who has a Tates is lost!”

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A man rushed into the doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!”

The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”

I love how people say they’re “expecting” a baby, as if it might be something else, like a penguin.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

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Hope you enjoy these jokes and cartoons. If you know any good ones, please send them to me.

Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.