Technical support call:
Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.’
Psychology; the science of pulling habits out of rats.
Some things to think about:
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
Okay, so what’s the speed of dark?
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
An engineer gets home from work and sees a note on the fridge from his wife:
“This isn’t working, I’m going to my mom’s.”
He opens the fridge, checks the light, grabs a beer, feels it cold and drinks it.
And then he utters:
“WhaddaheII, the fridge works fine!”
And some word-play:
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.