A guy is late for an important meeting, but he can’t find a place to park. In desperation, he begins to pray. “Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink vodka again!” A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right next to the entrance. “Never mind. Found one!”
Jokes from Old Comedians
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, “Cough!”
“Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?” The doctor says, “Limp!”
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him in the head with a frying pan.
‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied,
‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.
The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon regaining consciousness, the man asked why she had hit again.