Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 141

Sorry, friends, but I really need to vent!

I experienced the WORST customer service today at a local store. I don’t want to mention its name because I’m not sure how I’m going to proceed.

Yesterday I bought something from this store. I paid cash for it. I took it home and found out it didn’t work. Aargh.

So today, less than 24 hours later, I took it back to the store and asked if I could get a refund. The girl working at the store told me flat out NO, even though I still had the receipt! I asked if I could get a replacement instead, and she again gave me a stern NO. I was startled by her rudeness and immediately asked to speak to a manager. I once again explained that I had just bought the item, brought it home, and it didn’t work. The manager gently shook his head and said right to my face that I was out of luck. No refund, no free replacement, not even an “I’m sorry.” Geesh.

Well, that does it. I am NEVER EVER buying another lottery ticket from that store again!

A man had an accident and lost his little toe on his right side. The toe couldn’t be saved, and the surgeon frantically looked for a replacement.

The only thing that could possibly replace the toe was a peppermint breath mint the nurse fished out of her purse. The surgeon, working quickly, attached the mint where his real toe had been.

Upon awakening, the patient lamented that he wasn’t sure he liked the appearance of his post-operation toe.

“Don’t you see?” asked the surgeon, “You’ll be famous! You’re the only person on earth with a TicTac Toe!!!

Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand shops.
Why did the bicycle collapse? It was too tired.
What kind of music do bubbles hate? Pop.
Why did the hairdresser win the race? He knew a shortcut.
How did the picture end up in prison? It was framed.
What do solicitors wear to work? Lawsuits.
Why can’t a toe be 12 inches long? Then it’d be a foot.
Want to hear a joke about a roof? The first one’s on the house.

Adventures in Texting

The middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.

The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she’d send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend.

She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:

I’m on the toilet. Please advise.

Grandma’s been staring through the window ever since it started to snow. If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

I threw a ball for my dog… It’s a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday, and he looks great in a dinner jacket.

Back in the middle ages…

…each monastery had a profession, something the monks made that was sold to support the monastery.

As it happened, a man living in London heard about a monastery that made the very best fish and chips. This monastery was in the far north of England, near Leeds. It being the middle ages, this trek was rather arduous, but he saved up what he could and set forth on foot to fulfill his desire for the very best fish and chips that could be had.

I’ll spare you the details of his tedious, and sometimes dangerous sojourn. Suffice to say that eventually, as the sun was about to set one day he comes to the gates of the monastery. He catches a brother in the act of closing the gate against the night, and rushes up to him to ask, “Are you the fish friar?”

To which the monk serenely replied, “No, I am the chip monk.”

I hope you enjoyed these jokes and cartoons. If you have any good jokes, please send them to me. Thanks.

No copyright infringement is intended for these jokes and cartoons. The content is intended solely for your enjoyment.

Bob Mesnik