If you think the microwave is collecting data and the TV is spying on you is bad. The vacuum has been collecting dirt on you for years.
I asked my friend, “after 40 years of marriage, and you still call your wife ‘Darling, Honey, love. What’s the secret?”
My friend replied, “I forgot her name 10 years ago, and I’m scared to ask her.”
Waitress: How did you find your steak, sir?
I just looked next to the potatoes, and there it was.
My friend keeps saying, “Cheer up it could be worse. You could be stuck in a hole full of water.”
I know he means well.
Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything and cleaned it thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.
So many people these days are too judgemental.
I can tell by looking at them.
A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project, he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “dihydrogen monoxide.”
And for plenty of good reasons, since:
- it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
- it is a significant component of acid rain
- it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
- accidental inhalation can kill you
- it contributes to erosion
- it decreases the effectiveness of automobile brakes
- it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.
- Forty-three (43) said yes,
- six (6) were undecided,
- and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.
The title of his prize-winning project was “How Gullible Are We?”
He feels the conclusion is obvious.
The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian
“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
― Albert Einstein
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
― Albert Einstein
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”
― Isaac Asimov, Foundation
Notes for My Kids
Many people can influence us. Ralf Waldo Emerson said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” It is challenging to deny the pull of your group. For millions of years, human beings have been part of a tribe. It protected us. Unfortunately, we continue to be tribal. Our religion, politics, country, your school and friends, the sports team you cheer for, and even the people in your neighborhood are examples of tribes that can influence us. Don’t follow the tribe blindly. Phoebe Waller said, “The recipe for ignoring peer pressure is feeling confident in who you are.”
To maximize your success, be a critical thinker. Try to distinguish the true from the false. It is not easy. We sometimes read or hear things from people we respect. It may be a political leader, a person on the TV news, or a leader in our religious group. They may be in a position of authority, but they are people just like us. Sometimes they can be right and sometimes wrong. Be the person who discerns the difference. Critical thinking is what can save the planet.
Last Night I Dreamed of Chickens
Jack Prelutsky – 1940-
Last night I dreamed of chickens,
there were chickens everywhere,
they were standing on my stomach,
they were nesting in my hair,
they were pecking at my pillow,
they were hopping on my head,
they were ruffling up their feathers
as they raced about my bed.
They were on the chairs and tables,
they were on the chandeliers,
they were roosting in the corners,
they were clucking in my ears,
there were chickens, chickens, chickens
for as far as I could see…
when I woke today, I noticed
there were eggs on top of me.
I hope you liked these cartoons and jokes. If you have any jokes to contribute, please let me know. Thanks.
Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.