Technical Jokes and Cartoons Jokes – 102

Random Facts

  • All the C’s in “Pacific Ocean” are pronounced differently.
  • Octopi have blue blood. This is due to their blood containing copper, as opposed to human blood, which contains iron.
  • Dictionaries add words not because of worthiness but because of vernacular
    • If people use the word, then people need to have a way to look it up. It doesn’t matter if you like the word “crunk” or not
  • The longest (English) word you can type using only the left side of the keyboard is “stewardesses”. On the right it’s “lollipop”.
  • One horse has around 15 horsepower
  • Flamingos aren’t born pink. They get the color from their diet of shrimp.
  • The White Starline built three similar ships, the Titanic (We know that one), the Britannic, and the Olympic. All three ships sank. But the remarkable fact is that there was a woman [Violet Jessop], who was on all three ships when they sank and survived it all.
  • A one-pound mixture of U.S. dimes, quarters, and half-dollars will always have a face value of $20, no matter the ratio of dimes to quarters to half-dollars.
  • By the time the big pyramids were built in Egypt, there were still mammoths alive in northern Siberia.
Computer Gets to Know You

The Genius of Steven Wright:

1 – I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.

3 – Half the people you know are below average.

4 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 – If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 – All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 – I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ….. But she left me before we met.

City Mouse Cartoon

Some Random Thoughts

When a woman says, “What?” It’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

Dear life, when I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down.

I was called “pretty” today! Well, actually, the full message was, “You’re pretty annoying.” But I only focus on the positive things.

I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, have no idea what’s going on, and now I have to pee…

I have done some really terrible things for money, like getting up early and going to work.

My husband and I don’t want children. It was a difficult decision. We’re telling them tonight. I hope they understand.

I’m going to be the life of the party as long as it ends by 8 pm.

A Poem

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Robert Frost – 1874-1963

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

House in Winter

I hope you liked these cartoons and jokes.  If you have any anecdotes to contribute, please let me know. Thanks.

Regarding all these jokes and cartoons, no copyright infringement is intended. The content is only for your enjoyment.