A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
Some people pick their nose, but I was born with mine.
I made six figures last year. But this year, I’ll earn less since the toy factory fired me for being so slow.
Atoms are very successful. They’re into everything.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons-129”
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics, and your opponent will do it for you.
~Mark Twain
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
~Benny Hill
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons-128”
He said, “Doctor, every time I try to sleep, I close my eyes and see visions of PVC, copper, steel, and corncob. Am I going mad?!”
The doctor replied, “Relax. You’re just having pipe dreams.”
A new study reveals that women who are slightly overweight live longer
then the men who mention it
A hitchhiker had been trying to get a ride for hours with no luck. Finally, a car pulled to a stop. The hitcher ran up, threw his backpack in the back seat, and climbed into the passenger seat.
“Hitching long? “ the driver asked.
“Hours and no one even slowed down,” was the reply.
“Boy, society has changed,” the driver said. “People are so worried and scared now.”
“I hear you,” the hitcher said. “I think they’re afraid of picking up a serial killer.”
When the driver laughed, the hitcher asked, “Didn’t you think about that when you picked me up?”
What do you call a small piece of bread that moves rhythmically to music?
Abundance
Why did the cat stop moving as soon as it stood up?
Because it was on paws.
Scientists got so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours,they called it a day.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -125”
Churchill was born in 1874, fought during WWI, was Prime Minister during WWII and again from 1951 to 1955, and died in 1965, nearly 50 years ago. It’s odd how time moves on, but some things stay the same. He could have been talking about today. The foregoing is as true today as when he said it over his lifetime.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -124”
A consultant died, and when he reached heaven, he was met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Where am I?” asked the consultant,
“You have died and reached the gates to heaven”, said St Peter – “now we have to decide whether to admit you”
“There must be some mistake,” said the consultant – “I’m much too young to die – I’m only 42”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -123”
The world’s richest man is dying. He’s made peace with that. But what bothers him is no one in the afterlife will even know it.
He’s a self-made man who created this vast fortune from scratch, but he can’t take it with him. Not that he could spend it, of course, but just to SHOW everyone what a great success the poor boy had become.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -122”
A blind rabbit and a blind snake bump into each other. “What are you?” asked one. “I don’t know because I am blind,” said the other.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -121”
A guy walking in the woods meets a dog and shares his last meal.
The dog says, “Thanks, buddy.”
The man says, “How about that? You can talk.”
The dog says, “Yeah, I escaped from an experimental lab, but I don’t shout about it.”
The man says come home with me. I’ve got an idea that will make us a fortune.