What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
I took my wife to an apple orchard for her birthday. We spent an hour looking at the trees.
Apparently, it wasn’t the Apple Watch she was expecting.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 134”
A man undergoes a physical exam. He asks the doctor, “How do I stand?” The doctor says, “I don’t know. That’s what puzzles me.”
I take my wife everywhere, but she still finds her way home.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 132”
A bum comes up to me in the street and says I haven’t had a bite in three days, so I bit him.
A woman approached me and said, “I’ll do anything for $50.” I said, “Okay, paint my house.”
The definition of ambivalence. Your mother-in-law driving over a cliff in your new Cadillac.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 131”
An old man in a candy store sees a strange bottle in the back room. He picks it up, looks at it, and rubs it, and the genie escapes. The genie is so grateful that he asks the man what he would like. The old man says he always wanted to go to Atlantic City. The old man says, “I have no one to take care of the store if I go.” The genie says, “Go, and I’ll take care of the store.” The old man asks him if he knows how to care for a candy store, and the genie says, I am a genie, I can do anything. So the old man goes, and the genie does a good job taking care of the store. The old folks file in in the morning and ask Where’s Sol. The genie says he went to Atlantic City. So they ask if he’s taking care of the store. He says, I am the genie, I can do anything. So he says, “All right, all right, make me a malted.” The genie says, “Poof, you’re a malted.”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 130”
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
Some people pick their nose, but I was born with mine.
I made six figures last year. But this year, I’ll earn less since the toy factory fired me for being so slow.
Atoms are very successful. They’re into everything.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons-129”
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics, and your opponent will do it for you.
~Mark Twain
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
~Benny Hill
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons-128”
He said, “Doctor, every time I try to sleep, I close my eyes and see visions of PVC, copper, steel, and corncob. Am I going mad?!”
The doctor replied, “Relax. You’re just having pipe dreams.”
A new study reveals that women who are slightly overweight live longer
then the men who mention it
A hitchhiker had been trying to get a ride for hours with no luck. Finally, a car pulled to a stop. The hitcher ran up, threw his backpack in the back seat, and climbed into the passenger seat.
“Hitching long? “ the driver asked.
“Hours and no one even slowed down,” was the reply.
“Boy, society has changed,” the driver said. “People are so worried and scared now.”
“I hear you,” the hitcher said. “I think they’re afraid of picking up a serial killer.”
When the driver laughed, the hitcher asked, “Didn’t you think about that when you picked me up?”
What do you call a small piece of bread that moves rhythmically to music?
Abundance
Why did the cat stop moving as soon as it stood up?
Because it was on paws.
Scientists got so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours,they called it a day.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -125”