Jokes and Cartoons – 30

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cartoon-far-side-wrongs-rightBill walks into his boss’s office one day and says, “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I’ve got three companies after me, and I’d like to  respectfully ask for a raise.”

 

After a few minutes of haggling. the boss finally agrees to give him a 5% raise, and Bill happily gets up to leave.

 

“By the way”, asks the boss as Bill is leaving his office, “which three companies are after you?”

 

Bill replies, “The electric company, water company, and phone company.”


Two factory workers are talking.

The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.” The man replies, “And how would you do that?”

The woman says, “Just wait and see.”

She then hangs upside down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”

The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”

The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”

The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”

The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

 

cartoon-flirting with death

 

Some Silly jokes:

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An Investigator

 

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: Because it was framed.

 

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

 

 

cartoon-light-up

 

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An Impasta

 

Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”

A: “You can’t tuna fish.”

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?

A: Milk and quackers!

 

 

cartoon-randy_bish_rake_the_leaves_2

 

When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?”

I said, “No, not particularly.”

 

cup-chair-spin

 

New Senior’s Exam,

You only need 4 correct out of 10 questions to pass.

 

1) How long did the Hundred Years’ War last?

 

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

 

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

 

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

 

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?

 

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

 

7) What was King George VI’s first name?

 

8) What color is a purple finch?

 

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

 

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

 

Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.

 

Check your answers below ….

 

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

Answer: 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

Answer: Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

Answer: Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

Answer: November

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?

Answer: Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

Answer: Dogs

7) What was King George VI’s first name?

Answer: Albert

8 ) What color is a purple finch?

Answer: Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

Answer: New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Answer: Orange

 

I sent these questions to my granddaughter who told me she got an 80% on this.  I have to go back to school. I thought catgut came from a tennis racket.


 

Hope you enjoyed these silly cartoons and jokes.  If you know of any good ones, let me know.