Technical Jokes and Cartoons-24

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cartoon-chicken-missleThings that Started the Fight:

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started….

 

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started…

 

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started….

 

Some things to think about

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause

any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?

 

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation

towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

 

cartoon-physics_for_biologists

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming

and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 

If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would

eventually find me attractive.

 

cartoon-calvin-gravity

 

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

 

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

 

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about

that.

 

I have a preoccupation with finding good cartoons and jokes.  I need help so please send any suggestions.  Thanks.