Technical Jokes and Cartoons-38

cartoon-Harris-toaster

Infinity  –  where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.

Some Puns:

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.

The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

The meaning of opaque is unclear.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?

What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns.

Some interesting quotes:

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

Dave Barry

Cartoon-Refrigerator-Conversation

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
– Steven Wright

Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.
– Fred Hoyle

If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
– George Gobel

From Murphy’s Law:

  1. If it is green or it wiggles – it is Biology.
  2. If it stinks – it’s Chemistry.
  3. If it doesn’t work – it is Physics.
    – Young’s Handy Guide to the Modern Sciences

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.
– David Frost

Cartoon-Xkcd

I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing; Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.
– Steven Wright

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
– Albert Einstein

I can levitate birds… no one cares.
– Steven Wright

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it.
– Albert Einstein


If anyone has some jokes and cartoons, please contribute.  This month we thank Dave Grossman for some of the excellent puns.