Tag: tech jokes

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 60

A young driver became lost in a snowstorm. The teenager didn’t panic, however, because he remembered what his dad had once told him. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it.”

Sure enough, pretty soon, a snowplow came by, and he started to follow it. He followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked the teen what he was doing. And he explained that his dad had told him if he ever got stuck in a snowstorm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?”


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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 59

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. The man watched the game in astonishment for a while.

“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he said. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

“He’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”


I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded…

All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

Cartoon Whyatt Vasectomy

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-54

Cartoon Even-more-phonetically

A fifteen-year-old boy came home with a Porsche, and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?!”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” demanded his parents. “We know darn well what a Porsche costs.”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

So the parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?!? And to a kid?!?” they asked.

“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. “I don’t know her name – they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”

“Oh my goodness,” moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on!”

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-51

A guy is late for an important meeting, but he can’t find a place to park. In desperation, he begins to pray. “Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink vodka again!” A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right next to the entrance. “Never mind. Found one!”

cartoon-simplified-blogging-atkinson

Jokes from Old Comedians

Henry Youngman

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, “Cough!”

“Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?” The doctor says, “Limp!”

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-50

cartoon-Harris-limit of universe

I used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now.

The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.

What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me.

Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!

My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.

Here is some advice from Phyllis Diller (a comedian from many years ago):

Whatever you may look like, try to marry a man your own age because as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons 48

Cartoon-Dinosaur Bones

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.

However, the boy is very small, and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.

Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”

To which the boy replies, “Now we run like Hell!”

Seasonal jokes

Q: What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: Where does the snowman hide his money?
A: In the snow bank.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A: A pineapple!

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons 47

Cartoon Brain-Full

Wi-Fi went down during family dinner tonight. One of the kids started talking and I didn’t know who she was.

Don’t you hate it when you pack the family into the VR room for some recreational virtual time travel, and the damn kids keep asking, “Are we then yet?”

My email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.

I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One is a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 43

Cartoon Rocket Scientists

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She held up the box and said, “I bet it’s some flowers!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held up the box and said, “I bet it’s some chocolates!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held up the box and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

“Is it wine?” she asked.

“No,” the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

“Is it champagne?” she asked.

“No,” the boy answered.

“What is it?” she said.

“A puppy!”

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 42

Cartoon Larson Elephant

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

I don’t enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”


I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons-41

Cartoon-Wyatt-Particles

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They both have the same middle name.


A man walks into a bar and sits on a stool. After being served a beer, the bartender leaves the bar and goes into the back room. The man is alone in the bar, sipping his beer when he hears, “You’re looking pretty good. Have you been working out?” The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone.  

He turns back to his beer and hears the voice again, “That’s a nice shirt. It goes well with your pants.” Again the man looks around and doesn’t see anyone.

When the bartender returns to the bar, the man says, “The funniest damned thing has been going on. Someone seems to be talking to me, but I can’t see anyone.

“Oh that,” says the bartender. “It’s the peanuts. They’re complimentary.”

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