Technical Jokes and Cartoons-38

Infinity – where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.

Some Puns:

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.

The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

The meaning of opaque is unclear.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?

What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns.

Some interesting quotes:

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

Dave Barry

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
– Steven Wright

Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.
– Fred Hoyle

If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
– George Gobel

From Murphy’s Law:

If it is green or it wiggles – it is Biology.
If it stinks – it’s Chemistry.
If it doesn’t work – it is Physics.
– Young’s Handy Guide to the Modern Sciences

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.
– David Frost

I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing; Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.
– Steven Wright

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
– Albert Einstein

I can levitate birds… no one cares.
– Steven Wright

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it.
– Albert Einstein

If anyone has some jokes and cartoons, please contribute. This month we thank Dave Grossman for some of the excellent puns.

Bob Mesnik