A consultant died, and when he reached heaven, he was met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Where am I?” asked the consultant,
“You have died and reached the gates to heaven”, said St Peter – “now we have to decide whether to admit you”
“There must be some mistake,” said the consultant – “I’m much too young to die – I’m only 42”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -123”
The world’s richest man is dying. He’s made peace with that. But what bothers him is no one in the afterlife will even know it.
He’s a self-made man who created this vast fortune from scratch, but he can’t take it with him. Not that he could spend it, of course, but just to SHOW everyone what a great success the poor boy had become.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -122”
A blind rabbit and a blind snake bump into each other. “What are you?” asked one. “I don’t know because I am blind,” said the other.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -121”
A guy walking in the woods meets a dog and shares his last meal.
The dog says, “Thanks, buddy.”
The man says, “How about that? You can talk.”
The dog says, “Yeah, I escaped from an experimental lab, but I don’t shout about it.”
The man says come home with me. I’ve got an idea that will make us a fortune.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 119”
Elderly Friends got together for a regular poker game night.
During a break between rounds, one friend tells the other:
HEY JIM, YOUR MEMORY SKILLS GOT SHARPER. WHAT MEDS ARE YOU TAKING?
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 118”
“Did you hear about the man who invented the shovel? Some say he had a ground-breaking invention.”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 117”
A crow was sitting in a tree whistling a tune… A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. Suddenly, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
A guy goes to the doctor with a severe upset stomach. The doctor diagnoses a tapeworm, but says “not to worry”, he’s got a surefire cure.
“Okay!” Says the guy, “When can you start? I can’t stand the thought of a tapeworm in me.”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 115”
Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral.
As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife, Rose, turned to her oldest friend, Sadie, and said: “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.” “I’m sure you’re right” replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper: “tell me, how much did it really cost?” “All of it” said Rose. “50,000.” “No!” Sadie exclaimed.”
I mean, it was very nice, but really…….$50,000?” Rose nodded. “The funeral was $6500. I donated $500 to the synagogue. The food and drinks for another $500. And the rest went towards the memorial stone.”