The world’s richest man is dying. He’s made peace with that. But what bothers him is no one in the afterlife will even know it.
He’s a self-made man who created this vast fortune from scratch, but he can’t take it with him. Not that he could spend it, of course, but just to SHOW everyone what a great success the poor boy had become.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -122”
A blind rabbit and a blind snake bump into each other. “What are you?” asked one. “I don’t know because I am blind,” said the other.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons -121”
A guy walking in the woods meets a dog and shares his last meal.
The dog says, “Thanks, buddy.”
The man says, “How about that? You can talk.”
The dog says, “Yeah, I escaped from an experimental lab, but I don’t shout about it.”
The man says come home with me. I’ve got an idea that will make us a fortune.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 119”
Elderly Friends got together for a regular poker game night.
During a break between rounds, one friend tells the other:
HEY JIM, YOUR MEMORY SKILLS GOT SHARPER. WHAT MEDS ARE YOU TAKING?
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 118”
“Did you hear about the man who invented the shovel? Some say he had a ground-breaking invention.”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 117”
A crow was sitting in a tree whistling a tune… A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. Suddenly, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
A guy goes to the doctor with a severe upset stomach. The doctor diagnoses a tapeworm, but says “not to worry”, he’s got a surefire cure.
“Okay!” Says the guy, “When can you start? I can’t stand the thought of a tapeworm in me.”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 115”
Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral.
As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife, Rose, turned to her oldest friend, Sadie, and said: “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.” “I’m sure you’re right” replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper: “tell me, how much did it really cost?” “All of it” said Rose. “50,000.” “No!” Sadie exclaimed.”
I mean, it was very nice, but really…….$50,000?” Rose nodded. “The funeral was $6500. I donated $500 to the synagogue. The food and drinks for another $500. And the rest went towards the memorial stone.”
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He asked, how do you know I’m not a serial killer?
I replied, “The chances of two serial killers in one car are astronomical.”