Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 7

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cartoon-sport-bear-grizzly_bear-golfA priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”

The priest said, “Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”

He said, “Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”

The greenskeeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”

The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”

The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”

Some interesting flyers:

 

cartoon-pidgeon flyer-lost-dog flyer-evil-genius

Another engineer type joke:

One-day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, “I think a rod broke”.

The chemical engineer said, “the way it sputtered at the end, I think it’s not getting enough gas”.

The electrical engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something’s wrong with the electrical system”.

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”

The computer engineer said, “I think we should all get out and then get back in”.

 

Puns

 

  • I break into song if I can’t find the key.
  • A dyslectic poet writes inverse.
  • Your calendars days are numbered.
  • If a clock gets hungry, it goes back for seconds.

 

Handy Guide to Modern Science:

If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s biology. If it stinks, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.

 

Learn what’s important

The most important thing to learn in Chemistry is to never lick the spoon.

 

Notes:

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

I changed my password to “incorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.

Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The other 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

 

Scientists rated this joke as one of the best ones:

 

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

 

Let me know what type of jokes you like, puns, stories, cartoons, groaners, etc. I’ll try and find the ones you like.