How to translate responses from your boss:
I’ll look into it. = I’ve already forgotten about it.
I tried my best. = I did the bare minimum.
Happy to discuss further. = Don’t ask me about this again.
No worries. = You really messed up this time.
Take care. = This is the last you’ll ever hear from me.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons-27”
Observations from Children
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents’.
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 22”
Some comments from Stephen Wright:
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons 19”
I love the wisdom of Steven Wright. Here are some of his comments:
You may know the speed of light but, what’s the speed of dark?
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons 11A”
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons-10”
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons 8”
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”
The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”
The priest said, “Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”
He said, “Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
The greenskeeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 7”
Actually many of these jokes are not really technical, but us tech guys think they’re funny…
Answering machine message,
“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons 5”