Jack made his way through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.
Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.
He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, “Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy – Either way, you get your dog back!”
Here are some silly puns and jokes.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons-36”
- An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
- Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
- A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What? Because he’s cross-eyed?” “No, because he’s really heavy.”
How to translate responses from your boss:
I’ll look into it. = I’ve already forgotten about it.
I tried my best. = I did the bare minimum.
Happy to discuss further. = Don’t ask me about this again.
No worries. = You really messed up this time.
Take care. = This is the last you’ll ever hear from me.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons-27”
Observations from Children
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents’.
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 22”
Some comments from Stephen Wright:
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons 19”
Actually many of these jokes are not really technical, but us tech guys think they’re funny…
Answering machine message,
“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons 5”
Proverbs for Today
If at first you don’t succeed
skydiving is not for you.
Artificial intelligence is no match
for natural stupidity.
Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Continue reading “Now for the Jokes 1”
Tech Support: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”