Tag: technical jokes

Technical Jokes and Cartoons-24

Things that Started the Fight:

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started….


My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started…

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started….

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 21

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”

He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”

He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”

“No, this is the manager of the skating rink!”

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons 19

Some comments from Stephen Wright:

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 18

Math and Science for Engineers, and Others:

As an engineer, I found that it was important to learn certain basic mathematical concepts. Since, you also may need to know about scientific things, I put together some examples.  By the way, all these diagrams are from Instachaaz,

Probability Density Function:  The probability histogram shows how likely it is for something to occur over time, or over some other variable. For example:

Cartoon-Popularity-Things-xkcd
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Technical Jokes and Cartoons 17

Cartoon-Dr-Photoshop

Definition of an Engineer:
Someone who solves a problem you had no idea you had, and does it in a way you don’t understand.

Tech support Issues:

Helpdesk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons 14

Cartoon-bob-worms

A wife sent her husband a message on a cold winter evening: “Windows frozen”. The husband sent an answer back: “Pour some warm water over them”.

Some time later husband receives an answer from his wife: “The computer is completely messed up now”.


How can you tell which one of your friends has the latest iPhone?

Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.

A wife sent her husband a message on a cold winter evening: “Windows frozen”. The husband sent an answer back: “Pour some warm water over them”.

Some time later husband receives an answer from his wife: “The computer is completely messed up now”.

How can you tell which one of your friends has the latest iPhone?

Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons 13

wine selection cartoon

Science Jokes

Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.

An interesting paradox: Noses run but feet smell.

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a gin and tonic?” The bartender smiled wryly and replied, “For you, no charge.”

What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

Some puns (groaners)

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

What’s the definition of a will?  It’s a dead give away.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

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Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 7

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”

The priest said, “Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”

He said, “Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”

The greenskeeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”

The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”

The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”


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