As an engineer, I found that it was important to learn certain basic mathematical concepts. Since, you also may need to know about scientific things, I put together some examples. By the way, all these diagrams are from Instachaaz,
Probability Density Function: The probability histogram shows how likely it is for something to occur over time, or over some other variable. For example:
Definition of an Engineer:
Someone who solves a problem you had no idea you had, and does it in a way you don’t understand.
Tech support Issues:
Helpdesk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons 16”Zen Sarcasm
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
A wife sent her husband a message on a cold winter evening: “Windows frozen”. The husband sent an answer back: “Pour some warm water over them”.
Some time later husband receives an answer from his wife: “The computer is completely messed up now”.
How can you tell which one of your friends has the latest iPhone?
Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.
A wife sent her husband a message on a cold winter evening: “Windows frozen”. The husband sent an answer back: “Pour some warm water over them”.
Some time later husband receives an answer from his wife: “The computer is completely messed up now”.
How can you tell which one of your friends has the latest iPhone?
Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons 14”
Science Jokes
Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.
An interesting paradox: Noses run but feet smell.
A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a gin and tonic?” The bartender smiled wryly and replied, “For you, no charge.”
What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
Some puns (groaners)
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead give away.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
All the jokes are from famous comedians. If you remember Groucho, you are probably in the baby boomer generation, and if you know Ellen DeGeneres then your’e probably a member of the Millennials.
Here’s some from George Carlin. He was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author.
I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Continue reading “Technical Jokes and Cartoons 12”A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?” The doctor says, “That’s what puzzles me!”
Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears.” Doctor: “Don’t answer!”
I love the wisdom of Steven Wright. Here are some of his comments:
You may know the speed of light but, what’s the speed of dark?
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
