Category: Technical Jokes

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

Zen Sarcasm

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

All the jokes are from famous comedians.   If you remember Groucho, you are probably in the baby boomer generation, and if you know Ellen DeGeneres then your’e probably a member of the Millennials.

Here’s some from George Carlin. He was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. 

I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man’s chest.  The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?” The doctor says, “That’s what puzzles me!”

Patient:  “I have a ringing in my ears.”   Doctor: “Don’t answer!”