Technical Jokes Archives

Technical Jokes and Cartoons 12

Posted on October 20, 2015March 24, 2021 by Bob Mesnik

All the jokes are from famous comedians. If you remember Groucho, you are probably in the baby boomer generation, and if you know Ellen DeGeneres then your’e probably a member of the Millennials.

Here’s some from George Carlin. He was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author.

I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Technical Jokes and Cartoons 11

Posted on September 17, 2015March 24, 2021 by Bob Mesnik

A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?” The doctor says, “That’s what puzzles me!”

Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears.” Doctor: “Don’t answer!”

Technical Jokes and Cartoons 11A

Posted on July 20, 2015March 23, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

I love the wisdom of Steven Wright. Here are some of his comments:

You may know the speed of light but, what’s the speed of dark?

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Technical Jokes and Cartoons-10

Posted on June 16, 2015March 24, 2021 by Bob Mesnik

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

Technical Jokes and Cartoons 8

Posted on June 2, 2015March 24, 2021 by Bob Mesnik

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

Technical Jokes and Cartoons – 7

Posted on June 1, 2015March 24, 2021 by Bob Mesnik

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”

The priest said, “Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”

He said, “Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”

The greenskeeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”

The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”

The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”

Technical Jokes and Cartoons 6

Posted on January 5, 2015March 24, 2021 by Bob Mesnik

Technical thoughts:

Technical Jokes and Cartoons 5

Posted on December 12, 2014March 18, 2021 by Bob Mesnik

Actually many of these jokes are not really technical, but us tech guys think they’re funny…

Answering machine message,

“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep.

If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”

Technical Jokes and Cartoons 4

Posted on November 17, 2014June 1, 2020 by Bob Mesnik

“Lexophile” is a word used to describe those who have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.” Here are some examples:

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Technical Jokes and Cartoons 3A

Posted on October 15, 2014March 18, 2021 by Bob Mesnik

We included the latest technical topics as well as some classic jokes from Henny Youngman, a comedian who was popular years ago. He was known for his “one-liners”. for example,

I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.
Henny Youngman