
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Steven Wright
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it’s going to be up all night.
Steven Wright
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
Demetri Martin
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin






