If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, “Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?”
When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district. Spellings have been left intact.
Please excuse Roland from p.e. For a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip..
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side
Please excuse ray Friday from school.. He has very loose vowels.
Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents’.
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’
“If God had written the Bible, the first line should have been ‘It’s round.'” – Eddie Izzard
“A hotel minibar allows you to see into the future and find out what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.” – Rich Hall
“My great uncle Arthur died at the Battle of the Little Bighorn. But he wasn’t involved in the fighting. He was camping in a nearby field and popped over to complain about the noise.” – Rob Brydon
“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.'” – Jerry Seinfeld
As an engineer, I found that it was important to learn certain basic mathematical concepts. Since, you also may need to know about scientific things, I put together some examples. By the way, all these diagrams are from Instachaaz,
Probability Density Function: The probability histogram shows how likely it is for something to occur over time, or over some other variable. For example:
